


the darkness you carry (look up, kid.)

by bratlas



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Demons, Recovery, Supernatural Elements, hyuck and jaem are the main characters in this the other three dont show up till the end, idk how to tag this rly?????, mentions/implications of trauma and mental illness, shortfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:22:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bratlas/pseuds/bratlas
Summary: Not all demons are there to hurt you. When Jaemin meets Donghyuck, he’s actually got some pretty good advice.





	the darkness you carry (look up, kid.)

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the song look up kid by princess nokia. i highly suggest listening while you read 
> 
> this fic is inspired by this comic: 
> 
> http://zenophrenic.tumblr.com/post/169906606477/your-demons-have-good-advice-actually-a-short
> 
>  
> 
> there are a few lines in the story taken from this comic. full credit for them and the comic goes to artist zenophrenic on tumblr. it’s a comic i find very important and although this will b a mediocre read writing this was rly therapeutic. 
> 
>  
> 
> i purposely left jaemin’s trauma vague. interpret it how you want, because this isnt really just a nct fic it’s for anyone thats reads this and feels they relate. listen to your demons, sometimes they have good advice. 
> 
>  
> 
> okay now not to close out this a/n sounding thirsty but if you enjoy this pls leave a comment!!!! writers love feedback! thank u i love everyone tht reads this

Your demons aren’t there to hurt you.

 

  
Donghyuck is taking his time on meeting his quota. Seventy souls, Ten had said, for the month. Donghyuck had reached sixty-nine within a week, and then stayed at that number just to watch Ten grow more and more frustrated with him and his lame joke.

  
The month is almost up, however, so Donghyuck really should get around to collecting that final soul for the month.

  
Donghyuck slips through a window left open to coax in a breeze. The house he’s in is nice, new, but too empty. Donghyuck can’t help but peer through the fridge, open cabinet doors and disrupt the order of the things inside. It’s what he does best.

  
Warmth creeps towards Donghyuck from upstairs. Right, that one soul. Donghyuck puts down the kitchen knife he’d been admiring and saunters towards the staircase. Despite Donghyuck’s heavy, low-heeled boots, the various metal earrings dangling from his ears and the extravagant jewelry he wears, he moves noiselessly.

  
The first bedroom Donghyuck peers into is empty, though it’s obvious that someone must stay in there. There are clothes in the hamper, bedcovers wrinkled. This isn’t where the warmth is coming from. Donghyuck continues down the hall, peeking into more rooms. He finds a linen closet, a bathroom, another bedroom that’s far neater and pristine. It must be a guest room. Donghyuck reaches the end of the hall, where the door is cracked and dim yellow light streams out.

  
Donghyuck breezes through the small space easily, invisible. It’s hotter, and Donghyuck knows he’s at the right place now, because there’s a lump under the covers on the bed.

  
Donghyuck can see the boy’s soul clearly. Orange and pink light radiates from him, dissolves into the air after only a moment. Well, that isn’t right, but Donghyuck brushes it off, reaching for the covers to pull them back.

  
He hears a sniffle, a quiet sob. Donghyuck pauses.

  
“Hey,” he says softly. There’s a gasp, and then the covers are thrown back. Although it’s red, blotchy, tears and snot all over, the face that peers up at him is angelic.

  
“What’s wrong?” Maybe there’s something to be said about just how _wrong_ things may be, that this boy doesn’t even appear scared. Donghyuck is a force to be reckoned with, and he looks the part, with his fiery red hair and eyes to match, small, sharp canines protruding from the top and bottom of his mouth. Most humans piss themselves in Donghyuck’s presence.

  
“I’m worthless,” the boy sobs, breaking into tears again. Donghyuck sits beside him, winding his arms around the boy’s shoulders.

  
“You’re not,” he whispers.

  
“I _am_. I’m fucking weak, I hate myself, my parents hate me. They left me here,” he wails. Donghyuck pulls him closer and strokes the boy’s hair.

  
“You are not weak. Weak men tremble in the face of demons.”

  
“I wish you’d just kill me, then-“

  
Donghyuck growls. That causes the boy to stop short, peering over at him with wide, bloodshot eyes. “You’re not actually going to, are you? Is it going to hurt badly?”

  
“No,” Donghyuck murmurs, wiping tears from the boy’s face with his sleeve. “Tell me your name and I’ll tell you mine.”

  
“Is your name Lucifer?”

  
Donghyuck smiles, and shakes his head. “It’s not. Tell me your name.”

  
“Na–Na Jaemin,” he gets out with some difficulty, still shaking with small sobs. Donghyuck rubs Jaemin’s back. “Donghyuck. Jaemin, why do you think you’re weak?”

  
“I’m too much for everyone around me. They can’t deal with me, always having f-flashbacks, and panicking when people touch me, and-“ Jaemin pauses, then looks at Donghyuck’s arm around him, as if just realizing it’s there. Donghyuck begins to move away, but Jaemin follows, so Donghyuck holds him a little tighter and strokes his hair once more.

  
“I was too much,” Jaemin repeats in a whisper.

  
“You were not.”

  
“I deserved it-“

  
“You _didn’t_ ,” snarls Donghyuck. This time, his anger doesn’t frighten Jaemin. It almost seems to reassure the kid.

  
“My parents left me here while they visit our family because they don’t want them to know what I’m like now. They told me they’re ashamed of me.”

  
“The world is ashamed of them,” Donghyuck whispers. “And proud of you.”

  
“You’re lying,” Jaemin mumbles. Donghyuck takes Jaemin’s face in gentle hands and forces the younger to look at him.

  
“You have my word. Do you think the gods that created you look upon you with shame?”

  
“Probably.“

  
“No,” hisses Donghyuck, watching the light radiating off of Jaemin grow brighter.

  
“You were hurt and they didn’t understand.” Donghyuck caresses Jaemin’s face until the younger leans close enough for their foreheads to touch. “You’re stronger than them. It’s an unfair way to learn, but whether they change or not is irrelevant. Fight hard. Fight back,” he growls. Jaemin’s light pulses, and the heat beads sweat at Donghyuck’s hairline.

  
“You are owed compassion. You deserve respect.” Donghyuck pulls back the covers for Jaemin to lie back down, gently wiping his face once more. “Go to sleep, little warrior. I won’t be here when you wake, but don’t forget what I’ve told you.”

  
Donghyuck tucks Jaemin into bed. He waits until Jaemin is asleep once more to stand up, slipping a ring off of one of his fingers. It’s a bulky, old thing, tarnished bronze engraved with symbols only demons could ever wish to understand. To Jaemin, it’ll appear little more than a fancy design.

  
Donghyuck leaves his ring on the bedside table. He goes home with only sixty-nine souls, and he’s okay with it. Ten can deal.

 

 

 

 

Jaemin is graduating. It’s strange, having friends by his side once more. These ones, of course, are better than he ever could have hoped for.

  
“I’m really proud of you, dude.” Jeno ruffles Jaemin’s hair as they’re all walking into the diner Mark had insisted on taking them to to celebrate graduation.

  
“You’re just saying that.” Jaemin flushes red, waving Jeno off and fiddling with the heavy brass ring on his thumb.

  
“ _I am not_ ,” Jeno insists. “I’m proud of you, Jaem, fuckin’ full of pride. The gay kind, as well.”

  
“Over here!” Mark calls. Jaemin follows Jeno to the booth.

  
Busy with getting situated between Renjun and Jeno despite this booth definitely not being intended for more than two people on either side, Jaemin zones out of the conversations going on around him. Renjun’s sitting on part of his flannel, pulling it uncomfortably, and it’s only after Jaemin yanks it free that he looks up to greet Mark and whoever Mark’s new boyfriend is.

  
Unmistakably in front of him, despite honey-colored hair and sweet brown eyes, is Donghyuck. Donghyuck shoots a knowing grin at Jaemin, pride clear in his beam.

  
“Who’s ashamed?” he asks, voice pleasant, and Jaemin can’t help but smile back.

**Author's Note:**

> i,’m begigng ,,,.please comment,,,,?,.....my chidlren are dy ing


End file.
